gAyLe

my dearest frenz

2006-07-09T22:57:00.000+08:00

my hammie seem tired..i bought them a new small cage, but they seem to be rather uncomfortable with the new environment. This mr fat hammie is biting the edges of the cage rite now while i m typin this. wahahah..wat the heck. Teeth itchy?? keke guess not, tryin to bite his way out from this pathetic small cage.
caught juz my luck ydae. Watchin this show makes me wonder am i too old for such movie or am i juz not in the mood for such show. Find it rather out of my league for the content. Nevertheless, its a rather ppl watchin movie, see the forever full of freckles ms lohan with her new male lead. I rmb readin an article which she claimed she always seem to have some feelin for the male lead she stars opposite with. Well, i guess i would if i were her, all of them were rather gorgeous in a way. Drool..wahaha. Stop dreamin man..hammie is tired, he decided to rest and juz his usual style, lying on his stomach..starin into empty spaces, juz like the owner always do.
i had rather a fun time at sentosa tdy with my dear old fren, and one old classmate of mine. Haah, so cute to see her. While i was on my way to sentosa, i was juz thinkin, phew, we been as frenz for near to like 10 yrs. I m so glad we still manage to keep in ctc and its grreat to have frenz ard with you who been tru like with you , since sec one..omine..this is so ridiculously true. haah, we sort of see each other grow?? from small gers to young adult like us now. Though on the way, we might lost ctc for tat a moment and not realli knowin watz like for each other lives, but still i am so so glad tat we manage to keep our frenship there. We still have things to tok abt, common likes, you are there when i was down at tat time, listenin to my nonsense n givin me advises. Haha, i hope to see you at your weddin with your beloved one dae and be your children's godma. Ur 'waver' is so funny, i buay tahan the waving moments u two shared..oman, its makin me lauff when i tink abt it.
Cheers to our frenship if you are readin this particular blog. This is one delicated for you. Well maybe not only for you, but all my dear frenz who are always with me. This include the forever crazy woman who been with me since jc, haha, when i always do crazy stuff in front of her as well, like spittin water in the cinema..wahaha. Believe u find true love, i always strongly believe so and i wan see u happy in love one dae oso. I feel excited when i tot abt you and your future partner. haah, dunno why oso. My dear laopa and laomei, u guys are another great bunch i would always treasure in me always. I would like to see all my dearest gerfrenz happy in their lives, in the family, relationships, health, everything.
I feel like crying when i type this..hahahah

2006-07-05T12:14:00.000+08:00

having pets ard is much betta than maintaining a relationship. Looking at the gers ard me..happiest ones are those without any relationship, carefree. You may be sweet in love one moment, the other moment is another story. Though lonely we may be, at least we sleep betta at nite. Looking at my hammies are betta off looking at some idiotic faces or hearing some idiotic voices, or worst, holding onto a phone line with no response. To my ger frenz out there who are suffering-wake up gers!! we can be much betta off without nonsense and idiots in our lives. Plan for your own life, do somethin abt ur work, career, ur family, ur mummy n daddy. Dun be so blinded with juz one stoopid cock and have ur life revolve ard this cockster which SUX!! Bless to those ger frenz of mine who are enjoying their couplehood with their guys, may you guys stay happy n be sure to give n take.
I had a fun time at last chalet. I din noe that ppl at my previous work place are talented in a way that they can sing n perform well! omigod, i was so indulged in that session. Its juz soo Good..and when i m back home, i feel tat i will miss these ppl for sure..i wonder if i would be able to adapt well to life in sch in the next few wks to come. Waitin for the letter to come. Oman, chinese words..all i forgot liao..

women

2006-06-29T16:14:00.000+08:00

women are the most viscious animal on this earth..they bitch, backstab, but appear to be so sweet n demure in front of u. they are the owners of all gossips, scandals, men juz play the supporting role. ON top of this, women are heartless creatures, they forgot everything, anything, surrounding when they are head over heel in love with some men. they remeber only their family n frenz when they fall out of love. how many times have u heard or see a woman realise the kinship n frenship only after they are out of their relationship/ MIllion of times/examples..they are simple creatures who are directors of their own lives, condemning their men here in front of everybody, but still waana be wif these so called jerks when they have hurt them , made them cry..foolish..hai..i feel sad to be a woman at times..u see some women without confidence..totally dependent on others for their lives..tatz even more depressing..watz worst of a woman without confidence..i m glad i am full of CONFIDENCE!! wahaha. CIAO

motherz dae

2006-05-14T23:11:00.000+08:00

a brief catch up on watz goin on in our lives. Well, i m glad he finally has some sense of directn n not waste time focusin on irrelevant stuff. And i wonder who's the one who gave him such directn. haah..well..such a failure i am not during that period of time. Seriously, i have no idea how it will turn out, but i m willing to give it a try. Well, its not like u always find someone u can rely n relate to. Besides, having a fren is more than creating an enemy. So juz let things be n watever it will be yeah.

American IDol is a success, Spore Idol is a moCking Failure..perhaps they juz name it Spore Joker..ChriS rocks and Elvis Presley too. One fine dae if i ever have the chance, i pay his tomb a visit. wahahaha..dream on man.

Cant wait for the sale....

CHIAM SEE TONG!!

2006-05-07T14:09:00.000+08:00

election 's over, well, as for previous yrs, chiam n low retained their seats in parliament. They rox!! I can sae tat this yr election is rather an excitin one, though opposition din manage to secure more seats, however, they percentage did drastically increased from previous yrs. It is a good sign , esp Workers Party! Their rallies showed the picture. Its a waste i din manage to attend any of them.

I salute to Mr CHiam, he is one MP who is delicated to serve ppl here in Potong Pasir. He deserved to be wat he is now. PPl ask me in doubt: he's really tat good meh? Well, my ans to them is ttat, why not u come potong pasir n walk ard, i dun tink the way he handle this precinct is any far worse than any handled by the white shirts. We get our MRT line ultimately, lift upgrade done by him in certain blocks without any assistance from "anyone" Besides, seriously speaking, we dun need lift upgradin, if you are capable enuff to fork out 80-100 million for upgradin, why not u spend this money on those needy n helpless, those under heavy medical bills n fees..spend it for the general welfare of the ppl in this country, not fanciful stuffz which are redundant. We dun need bootiful flats n are not babies who need lift to stop at every floor cos we simply cant recognise and make our way to our level, our flats. Stop emphasisin on lift upgrade!! Do somethin to this economy. Papers on pollin day stated on economy growth in early part of the yr. Wherez the growth?? Job creationz?? Wat jobz are u tokin abt here being created?? Cleaners? Labourers? Perhaps more jokers are created in a way. Graduates with overseas uni degree couldnt find a job here, in their homeland!! And you see foreigners coming in, takin up positions, fightin with you for the ricebowl..SUX man

A healthy govt requires a balance in terms of opposition parties in it. Its rather upsettin to see ppl in this country who dun really care much abt the politics, esp younger generatn. Well, in my opinion, it could be tat they are juz as ignorant or they juz choose not to care and bother. They may not have members in their family who seriously need some long term medication here in spore, n juz completely unsure of how high medical fees n bills could chrged up to. Or perhaps they are juz some rich kids born with a silver spoon in their mouth, spoilt and freaking rich, drivin in their latest edition of their cars would be part and parcel of their lives. How they hell would they even noe who their MPs are or worse,they may not even noe whos their PM. The most viscious are those 2 headed snakes...Complained n condemned, in the end..cross besides white shirt party..n u see them flaggin away the party's flag in some stadium while results are announced..BEST..

Oppz! i juz went outside and waved!! Mr Chiam is making his rounds within the estates to thank the residentz!! He called us Potong Pasirians in his rally..wahaha so funny, machiam Cedarians!! WE ROX!!!!!!!!!

run recharges me

2006-04-21T20:35:00.000+08:00

have u ever feel so great after jogging for 7km. its fantastic. i love myself!!
i been walking past semi-D houses these daes while on my way for tuitn, been peekin in and checkin out the decor of the houses..wondeer when will ever be a day i could be living in one of such..haah..i am lonely, admit it..perhaps for this week, or juz tdy, and maybe juz this hr, lemme feel loneliness to the max. i guess i been puttin in more effoert in my tutorin assignmts tat i kinda feel good after each session of tuitn. its a joy. its another joy to see my hammies. tv shows tdy is rather boring..i wonder and await the dae i feel carefree and rich..wahahaha

fuCk off froM my life forever

2006-03-26T22:42:00.000+08:00

wat the fuck when i was asked tat qn, stunned. i juz wan to live my life as normal as the past, i dun wan the past haunting me. FUCK off from my life. i wish i nvr have to experience this abnormality again. its horriifying. i can wake up one dae feeling good, another dae wake up feelin with hatred. SHItty ass..

i feel sad , as for usual

2006-03-19T21:42:00.000+08:00

i spent my whole dae rotting at home.
and i guess it is a not so nice one..sometimes i dun understand her, dunno wat she tinkin, dunno why she cant be juz more positive at times, instead of ...hai..my neck realli aches, i dun understand why so. i am tired. been havin some nonsense tots as for usual. well, i juz wana get tired everydae n stop tinkin so much.. i realli wana treasure my family, but i dunno why everytime arguements juz got to happen, i did tink of bringing my mother out durin my off dae, bring her out for nice food, or shopping. i see mothers n daughters shopping together before n i kinda admire how they do tat. i see some of them so close, nvr noe why we cant. i dunno..are we juz goin to stay like tat till the dae we part. maybe she's rite in a way tat she din realli spend much time with me when i m young, as she is busy takin care of other kids as well. Thus, we arent tat close. Come to tink of it, it all went on so fast, me in kindergarten, pri - sec sch, when she underwent the major operation, tru jc,unable to make it to local uni, when i met him n after the first love ended..she is there. But i guess tru out these, i din realli share wif her wat i went tru n juz always appear to be so mundane abt everything..
At times, i tink to myself if i should ever have a daughter in future, i hope i wun be havin a relationship like wat i am having with my mother now. I feel sad for her as in we are not tat close and i am the only one she has..i feel sad for myself too..haah..but things always got screwed up..either she screwed it or me. :(
I guess my father is the one who is always caught in the middle..well..i realli hope to be betta, i dun wan to wait till its too late..i hope things will turn out betta. Haah, i even hope i be able to give my parents the joy of being grandparents one dae, cos i noe they be so excited and happy abt it. And most imptly please stay healthy :)
i tot why papa actually watch ch 5 news, then ch 8 news again..actually he is waiting to see 2nd uncle on the news, the past yr footage when 2nd uncle was helpin out chiam see tong..goin ard with him to estate, esp durin election season..haaah..i guess he sort of missed his brother..well, i do actually after i saw him on the news, is like he is not here anymore..so sudden..life is real fragile

nothing beatz a life..sad

2006-03-14T22:14:00.000+08:00

how much is life worth ..
u can nvr predict life, i am now typing on my pc, who noes where i be next min..lying below my void deck is a kind auntie cum neighbour. she always smiles, without fail, at me, initiate small talk with me, asked how am i..i even rmb sharin a bus ride with her a few yrs ago, where she was on her way to work..i admit i am bad, i sometimes try to avoid her when i saw her from afar, at times when i dun feel like tokin or being asked any qn..so horrible..now i dun even have any chance tat she will initiate any small tok wif me, askin how am i, giving me the always frenly warm smile..ironic..ppl dun realise they lost something till they lost it. we dun treasure, always taking things for granted, taking our close ones for granted. and ppl only tok abt u when u are dead, tok abt how good a person u are, or how incorrigble you are. Well, guess tats human beings. why we even bother to allow ourselves to feel so so low over something so insignificant in our lives at times, when we have betta n more things to worry..money, relationships, appearance, how others think of us..why we even bother to use our brain to think of all these..becos we are too free..or is it the environment we are in..i guess our situations play a role. Juz like wat i told lao mei before, imagine we living in a country full of starvation, when u dun even noe when u gettin ur next meal, u realli worry u will die due to hunger, i mean really! would u even bother to tink abt stuff like: why din things turn out rite, why arent we together, why am i not as good looking as i wana be, why am i earning so little..haah..i guess the only thing u worry abt is how u goin to survive another dae.
i juz wana learn to live each dae happier. And how many of you can do tat? Tell me abt it, when is the last time u lauff like u reali lauff so hard u wana burst into tear, ur stomach muscle ached..when is the last time u can realli spend quality time with your family n frenz..when is the last time u feel tat u realli love the way u are..when..i dunno..i am still searching..happiness=to learn to let go and noe wat is contentment.

rojakz

2006-03-10T22:43:00.000+08:00

how u define happiness
at diff stage in our life, our way of definin happiness varies..it goes like a rising curve n towards the end heading to move downwards..it is only towards old age/death tat u see happiness in so many simple things. wat a waste of most of our god damn life..diff ppl focus on diff issues n goals in their lives. sad to sae tat i am still searchin but glad to say tat once i found it, i know it be wif me for the rest of my journey.
i tot of my grandpa, of the daes he popped by our house, puttin a few 10-dollar notess onto my hand, repairin my bicycle wheels, sippin milo mother made for him, sleepin on our livin room sofa, haah, wif his shiny, oily, gel hair, and me forever tinkin how the sofa will smell after wards..haah..until he grew older, weaker n i grow, bigger, matured into a so called young lady, i nvr did see him as much as i was younger, even if visit on sundae was short, he would stay in his room, smokin at times, or sleepin wif door closed. He doesnt tok much, loves crossin h shakin his legs while sittin down n watchin tv. i rmb he loved watchin wrestling, wif my papa. i guess its one moment i always rmb..and grandma will juz go ; ah ah ah, why the hell can he jump onto him like this, aiyo aiyo..haah.good memories always stay, like wat i am holdin onto now are all past memories. i guess its not goin to be forgotten no matter wat.
i dislike my mother's naggins, but i noe, one fine dae i am juz goin to miss it, miss it forever.
i seldom tok to papa now, it doesnt seem the case when i was younger, i rmb i love to hang ard wif him so much, tat even once, i refused him to go play soccer wif his kakis. haah..but now it sometimes seem we dun tok so much anymore, though presence always felt still.
sometimes, i feel the pain when i dun feel the same way towards certain ppl at diff point in my life, i cannot see them as how i used to n how i picture them to. but sad truth always hurts, ppl change. and ppl go, but memories stay.......

nothing much..juz some spare time to spare

2006-03-05T20:27:00.000+08:00

life has been pretty boring for me these daes. well more or less is work, home, out wif frenz, exercise, nothin much to fill my lonely brain. wahaa. everydae as i passed, i tell myself it has to be better. but it juz be boring as usual. haah. been feelin rather drowdsy these daes..wonder why. well. perhaps body system weak..haah.well, my 23 yrs of life. certainly not been tru much, not little, but always try to forget the bad, remember the bad, things happen for mani mani reasons, karma does exist, haaah..evil person i am.
i wish ppl close to me can find happiness in their life, goals, find a good job. be confident in oneself, life will be so much betta yeah.

18 feb-brand new

2006-02-18T22:20:00.000+08:00

this shall be a brand new start for me.
new job i have got, hamsters i have got, wahahaha
went to guanyin temple tdy, saw my horoscope, read it tru n have a slight idea of my upcomin year 's luck, health, love life, wealth..haahaa
while waitin for bus to great world city wif shujun, she saw her church fellow mates, haah, sayin they havin some young adult gatheringz..tellin me one guy is quite good lookin..i din even catch his face, but lookin at his side view makes me wana sleep oredi..well, she always has diff taste as me..
i look forward to the dae i can forget abt the sad past n embrace my life as the new adventures set in, i look forward to the dae which i can realli have something done in my life which i will feel so accomplished, i look forward to the dae which i can go into a shop and shop n buy like theres no tmr, without lookin at the price tags..wahahaha
i had fun wif laopa the other nite, haah, she nvr fail to crack me up, even with the simplest thing we can juz lauff on it, lauffin at laomei's eyeliner..wahaha..the dinner was good too! ramen is yummy n so is the ebi tempura! so fresh..cant wait to go back n eat again once pay is in!! thanxs laopa for the dinner, for my post bdae treat!! heeh..
ultimately, i guess i got to juz get on wif my mundane life, even how reluctant i am. and i know he is not for me, i am not for him..we juz dun suit each other. i wish he can get someone who can make him feel loved n not like a 'wimp' wahaha..hope he can have a betta directn in his life n know wat he wans one fine dae, but not juz lingerin his life away so aimlessly..
and so does it apply to me!!
i got to live a more fulfilin life n stop COMPLAININ so much!
DO IT !!
be a BITCH! (cos nicholas love bitches mah, lao pa!) wahahaha

2005-12-15T22:46:00.000+08:00

seeing my grandma lyin on the hospital bed..i dunno..perhapz it be betta if she can leave without any more suufferins, but it seems like she still has got a beri strong determinatn to live on..i guess she cant bear to leave my aunts behind..well..tdy is my first dae of work, so far so good, i quite like the trainin mates there, rather crappy n fun..hope tmr be betta!!
i wan go sleep le..

2005-12-13T18:50:00.000+08:00

i went joggin juz now
it rained, sweet momentz rushed back to me in a spilt second.
i tot of this sentence; there is no one in the world u cannot live without with, but there is this one person u can live without with, yet you choose to live ur life with..
i tink it makes a great hell of sense
haah
i juz wana get a job soon..i need money money..

2005-12-06T21:04:00.000+08:00

i dun feel anythin as yet..
dunno why..
i am confused..but i juz noe tat itz over. i dun wan see him as a boifren anymore,oppz, not dun wan..is cannot see him as a boifren anymore..muahaha.. i am tryin to let it go slowly..i guess..n he is givin me the time for tat which i appreciate..
perhapz wat i realli need now is a new job wif a new environment n i noe i make it tru..i noe.. >.<

2005-11-29T18:53:00.000+08:00

i surrender
i dun wan anymore of this shit anymore
i find myself gettin so crazy at times
i dun like watever i am goin tru now
and i dun wan it to last
i juz wan everythin to come to an end but i dunno how to bring it to an end
i juz feel so sick n bloody tired of watever is said n done
it hurts alot but nothin hurts more than seein my parents upset should they see me upset over this
its not i din try, i did, juz tat i cannot control the situation anymore
my head aches n my heart numbs
i goin to tender tmr..i wan prepare myself; i dun wan see him hopefully anymore..

2005-11-24T20:50:00.000+08:00

trainin n orientation starts on mon..beri boring n tirin..cant wait for it to end..
got to get back to normal workin hrs life now..abit diff to adjust at this pt of time..tryin hard n my best to..
dunno wat to expect for my future, havin doubts on how i can continue with everythin in my life now..haah..i guess i am in pessismistic mode once again. or am i juz not satisfied with my current life right now..
i dunno..i only noe i dun like watever i am havin or doin now..regardless towards my job or family or relationship. although i might feel abit betta than last wk, but then i cant help but feel negative once again.
there is no future in any job, there is only future in us.
quite true duh..

2005-11-20T23:16:00.000+08:00

after a nite at east coast wif laopa n laomei, i decided i got to cook!
wake up !!
i goin to do my best, put in my best shot as a gerfren, they made me realised i am nothin like a gerfren to him in the past! yes, i am so selfish, only wantin for myself, not carin if he is so tired to give..
i felt so much like a fool, i actually spent so much shoppin, to indulge myself, instead of thinkin of ways, seekin useful adv to do somethin to this relationship until i realised i had been a fool all the while to myself..silly me..
i realli got a tight slap onto my face when i suddenly realised wat he done, wat he said to me, it all boils down to me, i haven been givin him anythin..but i expect him to give n give his everythin to me..which is so unfair..
i feel so sorry towards him when i think of the stoopid stuffz i done towards him..
i realised i did not give him love, care n concern as a gerfren..but i expect him to do tat towards me, wat kind of shit am i..
i am goin to be GOOD!!
may god bless us..
everyone i noe..everyone readin this..
things happen for a reason..

2005-11-18T12:33:00.000+08:00

my nites have been beri terrible this wk
i dunno when will it ever get betta
i realli dunno wat cause someone to change so fast within a short period of time..suddenly..

i am so tired..my frenz are even more tired to hear me..

2005-11-14T11:36:00.000+08:00

i hate everyone ard me now
i hate my life
everything!!

i hate i hate i hate!
i wish i can juz die away one dae, then still noone will realise i am dead!!
juz go die everybody
living on is a torture
no one understands me! no one ever ever !
i dun even understand myself!

2005-11-14T00:15:00.000+08:00

i tot my nitemare has stop ever since the incident. but to my dismay, i tink it juz start evrything. i dunno where to start, feelin sad n miserable,lauffin loudly with my frenz, shopping in a way to make myself feel betta n cryin uncontrollably has becum my hobbies for the past few mths. i dun even noe when it start tat someone who has been with me for the past 2 yrs can juz tell me stuffz on no more feelins anymore, when he actually agree with me our love renew ever since the incident, i dun even tink he remembers wat he agreed. lookin back on everything is sweet, the memories linger. tears flow out without much help. i cant help feelin so helpless, lost in my own world, i feel i fell deep. i tell myself not to fell so deep. but the sweetness juz pull me in, n make me such a person i am now..which i kinda hate for makin myself so miserable.
things fell apart, then i learn.
i learn to appreciate him more than before, i learn my mistakes, i learn to forgive, but i guess i haven learn to give up.
i always keep in mind; love is patience, love is kind.
and to me feelins nvr fade, it either stay stagnant or grow, cos unless u nvr love this person before, if not feelins will be there..
his words contradict his actions, but maybe it is comin true soon. but serioously i tell myself not to allow sympathy, yet on the other hand, i feel i cannot take it, so i leave it hanging.
lao pa ask me if i still love him, i sae i dunno, i dunno if i still love him, or is it juz for the sake of companionship. wat does love means? if love means allowing him the chance to make me cry over n over again, then i still love him cos i have been cryin over n over again, while i guess he juz take it in his stride tat he can leave it beri easily. it is not a great deal, yah, maybe it isnt, life isnt only about love, relationship, juz tat it kinda playz a big part in everyone's lives. who doesnt like to be loved and doted on, who wish to be cryin n holdin onto unreal love everydae..sorry tat i have wasted ur 2 yrs, but only 2 yrs, not like we are married..it is kinda heartbrokenin to hear such words from ur dear ones. its juz like tellin u sorri, u onli have 2 wks left in ur life, but be glad, at least is 2 wks for u to see the world, not 2 daes..but watz the big deal, u are goin to head for death anyway..so 2 wks or 2 daes dun matter..cos it juz means the end..
somehow i am confused inside, one dae he tell me this, another dae he tell me tat. one dae i feel happy, another dae i feel crapz. all the reasons he gave on givin up are not even reasons i wan consider in terms of givin up a frenship the least.

freedom n singlehood; in which way have i ever make him feel so restricted in this relationship. i feel tat i am dealin it with a rather mature attitude, so mature till i allow things to go haywire on the incident. i nvr ever take away his time n freedom in any sense, time is always there, is up to individual on how u wana utilise it, not otherz in ur life. juz another lame excuse..

not the one; if ever there is such thing one can define the one, marriage wun end up in divorce..there is no the one. even if there is, is cos u make it happen..

i dunno if this period of time is a difficult period for me, i juz noe my emotions are like rollercoaster, runnin high n low for no reasons at anytime of the dae. i cannot blame him for this, cos i am the one makin myself so miserable while he might not feel anythin anymore, since he is so tired with his job as well..i am so free to think of all these issues. why dun i spend time to think of my future, my parents, my money..i noe i am not the only person on the whole earth who will experience problems in relationship issuez. itz juz shitty esp if u are the one in the relationship thinkin n thinkin, reflectin n reflectin while the other party juz choose to wan take the easy way out.
hey can someone tell me wat to expect n wat not to n wat to do..
no one can except myself
i feel so giddy juz now after these few nites of late nites sleepin..feel like puking n my whole head seem to be spinning.
listening to jay chou's sad song now worsen everythin..
juz lemme sink deeper into my depression n maybe one dae i will snap, wake up.
when will tat be..i dunno..

2005-11-13T12:18:00.000+08:00

wow
can she juz stop her nagging
can she juz shut up

i wan be happy
how to be happy when surrounded by her..
i try to be cheerful, but when i see her, i hear her, i feel like a total hell of shit again.

juz shut up lah
juz shut up my heart oso

lemme juz concuss for a few daes

2005-11-12T13:37:00.000+08:00

it comes a time tat everything comes to an end.
nothin in this world is forever.
i muz be brave to be able to get rid of the past to enter into my future.
say goodluck to me and my future.

spent time with lao mei n lao pa last nite..where i broke down once again..
i juz feelin beri upset tat things are juz not goin rite these daes.
i feel tired. thanxs to lao mei n lao pa analyze, though it makes me feel betta, only for a while.
if only i can erase all memories and feelins in me
i dun realli regret the mistakes i have committed, cos they make me realised how horrible i am as a gerfren to this person. haah. so somehow maybe it justified how he is treatin me now.

i hope i will be betta soon.
cos my emotions are like rollercoaster..not only u, lao mei, me too..
we will be betta
i dare not dream of any betta man comin along to sweep me off, i juz hope to have a simple guy i can realli count on..

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

2005-11-09T15:34:00.000+08:00

-no see money. cos submitted claims late
-no see any wt lost yet, cos din realli exercise
-no see any dreamz yet in my life. cos still in dreamy state
-no see any sweetness n happiness yet cos no effort??
-no see myself nowhere..cos still a beri lost soul wondering..
-no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
-no fun tdy.............

2005-11-03T22:05:00.000+08:00

i hope tdy will be the end of everything, every nonsense.
i am goin to give the best i can.
everything is up to god.
watz urs is urs, if not do not force it..

east coast was packed tdy, din dare to blade in case i knocked onto someone, or may i sae someone knocked onto me..nice weather though..had a short tent, walked round the beach..had steamboat for dinner, not bad but rather ex..everything is good tdy..
i hope i can juz control myself...be more rational instead of emotional..

soo fuulll

2005-10-20T22:27:00.000+08:00

i am sooooooo full
juz back from dinner for my lao bu bdae..
ate like a pig
i tink my jian fei plan all gone down to drain juz tonite..
it was a rainy dae..started off wif tuitn..supposed to go blading..but the weather cannot make it, thus, got to give it a miss..
went down to suntec to catch the silly movie..Deuce Bigalow
quite boliao show..but nothin to watch oso..so muz well..
o my goodness n tangy new N3230 whch he juz bought ydae has got keypad issue, thus, sent down to Nokia serv centre for repair..n he is so silly, he couldnt bear the tot of his new phone being "operated" on juz on the 2nd dae of purchasse..alamak..wat kind of thinkin this boi is thinkin.. :w
anyway in the end, he oso sent it for repair..haah..
anyway free mah..so muz well..then this paranoid uncle check his newly repaired hp again n again from city hall to amk for the dinner..
great dae wif great food n great company
hmm should i go for the chalet later..

2005-10-18T01:02:00.000+08:00

my ''stealszz'' of the dae..
wkend was tiring..but fun n good !!
went trekin again wif tangy on sat to bukit timah, if i stay near there, i will go walk everydae..such a good place to work out..but its soo soo far far away from me..
had curry fish head for lunchie, its so nice cos it is like sour n spicy those kind..my god..surdup lah..
then went ''jacuzzi'' again at swimmin pool..in my new bikini!! ..cool..but tangy saes the bottom abit too revealin..can see seaweed comin out if nvr wear properly..so can onli wear for show not to swim or do vigorous exercise in it.. :p
sundae was a dae left to rot n rot n rot..weather to nice to miss to stay home n rot n rot..
went shoppin again!! on mon wif shujun, long time no see, still samesame.
bought crapz again..blahhablah

waitin suxx

2005-10-13T21:12:00.000+08:00

had a swim..
tired..swam consecutively for 2 daes..
i am tired of waitin..wat am i waitin for..am i waitin for somethin with no returns..
sianzz
ppl change, why everything but ppl..
cos god created human life is a torture..

2005-10-13T14:15:00.000+08:00

i feel depressed out of sudden.
i feel i am wastin my life away.
wat am i doin..
i dunno where i am headin to in my life..
everydae wake up face the pc, loggin onto webby, surfin on nonsense stuff, not doin anythin to upgrade n improve myself, been so stagnant ever since dunno 2 - 3 yrs ago?
wat am i livin for, who am i livin for, nothin n no one
i spurgle whenever i feel like, i buy stuffz to cheer myself up, i crave attention n once i got it, i wana be left alone.
i feel abit upset tat i been such a useless bum, esp towards the ones who really love n care for me.
when i am down, i dunno who i can confide in, i dunno where i can go to..i can only help myself..i think think, reflect reflect, wat am i upset for, who i am upset for.
music can heal the soul..can it realli do so?
dun u wonder at times why on earth are you for
it seems so aimless n daez passin seems so insignificant until ur dyin daes are approachin, suddenly u feel tat you have got so much things to do n fulfil tat u dun wana leave this world as yet.

2005-10-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

new bikini!!
so cheap @ onli 25 bucks...niceee.. :)
and i bought a so decent top..wif skirt n 2 braz tdy!!
so happy!! went swimswim 10 lapz tdy..i am feelin so hot hot hot now..my nose is redddd!!
had pepper lunch..salmon wif chicken..yummyumm..but hai wasted my workout though..nvm work out tmr!! i mean tdy..haah..
miss my darlin.........though......................

lin junjie--

2005-10-12T11:12:00.000+08:00

i have no idea how i am feeling tdy. do you have any idea how you feel tdy? i haven been goin for classes..although it feels so aimless. but even if i go i noe i will still feel aimless, juz maybe abit more satisfied.. going for a swim n then have pepper lunch!! those might help me feel betta..

crying is the only thing to destress from an horribly cocked up brain..

2005-10-11T17:29:00.000+08:00

at times i do not noe wat i am holdin onto. i am glad u came into my life..showered me with the love n care u can really give to me, makin me feel happy. Watever happened this period of time makes me realise how i feel for u n perhaps tellin me how late i am in reciprocatin back wat you have given me. i did actually tink of havin n creatin a future wif u, startin a new lease of life together, buildin n encouragin each other like wat we been doin. However sad to sae tat you no longer see me as someone u could have spend ur life wif n oso u are havin another person in ur heart like u told me..you have come into my life n leave me wif loads of great memories which no one could ever replace. Should there come a dae we part, i hope i am crying not becos of the sadness n sorrow of partin, but for the happiness i noe you goin to seek w/o me..in ur life..

2005-10-11T11:27:00.000+08:00

i wana lose wt! sooooo fatfat.................................
and go for SIA interview next yr..muahaha..
i dun wana study anymore..stoopid sch..sux..everything revolves ard money only..i should try to save up now once again n once come next yr, when the time comes, n in the right state of body shape n face, muahaha..i go check out SIA..yeah yeah..as if so easy. juz sit back n pray..n exercise. tok abt exercise, i skipped till i havin backache now..
if i dun make it, then i go apply ngee ann poly study early childhood le..find a nice guy n settle down soon..haah..cos by the time if i realli come out from the poly should i go take up the course, i be 25 oldold le...
tatz my aspiration for the time being..maybe new updates soon on my aspiration..

2005-10-10T23:54:00.000+08:00

backie!!
corpse bride was good
haah i tink there is quite a cute show got chicken little comin out soon
nice evenin it goes; steamboat; movie; niceee
cancelled tmr ot..dun feel like goin work..:(
goin to seesee look look old n@vy spree now

mon

2005-10-10T11:04:00.000+08:00

another start of the week..comtemplatin whether to go for lesson or not..is such a tough decision..intend to go catch corpse bride, heard from jiemin tat her bro went watched it n the whole show, they are singin away..haah..should be rather interestin..haven catch a movie for quite a while..well juz hope tat the evenin wun turn out bad.
have to go back to office later..to pass jonny his HRM notes..haiyo..so mafan..anyway got to wait for tangy oso..muz well on the way.
i feel like orderin some more cardigan from gojane..wait for jer to start the spree..when am i goin to get my old navy stuffz..
charging my palm now, startin to like it more n more. quite useful one u get the hang of it, i am not gettin the hang of it yet.
perhaps i should go swim later before droppin to the office..

2005-10-10T03:49:00.000+08:00

i like this pic..
our rawa trip..so niceee...

2005-10-10T03:42:00.000+08:00

http://www.xanga.com/teews83
my past postings...

my online spree..

2005-10-10T03:29:00.000+08:00

my go jane halter!!